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It’s Neat to Meet… Frank

Oh no!  The moment I’ve been dreading… interviewing the officemate.  Duhn-duhn-duhn.  It’s so weird interviewing my buddy.  I mean, I know this guy!  When he writes in a group birthday card, “Mary Ann, my wonderful roommate, have a great birthday.  See you back at our office… Frank”, what else is there to say??  Here’s what…

ML: ‘Sup.

FP: ‘Sup.

(This is where our conversation usually ends)

ML: So what’s your favorite color?

FP: Red and black.

ML: I said color, not colors.

FP: I think of it as one color.

ML (eye roll): Favorite movie?

FP: City of God.

ML: Ooooh, interesting choice.  Favorite song?

FP: I don’t have one.  I kill whatever song I like.  I listen to it over and over until I kill it.

ML: Are you, are you coming to the tree?

FP: No.  No, stop that!

ML (laughs): Okay, okay.  Let’s switch gears.  Tell me your dream destination or vacation spot.

FP: Anywhere with clear water, so I can go spearfishing.

ML: Other than spearfishing, what do you like to do in your spare time?

FP: I like to sit in front of the TV and watch 12 episodes of Mad Men.

ML: That’s it? 

FP: Yeah.

ML: That’s not it.  What about all the outdoorsy stuff you do?

FP: Yeah, but that’s not in my spare time.

ML (second eye roll): FRANK!  Okay, fine, what types of activities do you like to partake in outside when you have ample time on your hands?

FP: Rock climbing, race motocross (that’s “dirt bike stuff” for us laymen) and backpacking – parking the car and just going into the woods for two days.

ML: If you were stranded in the woods ala “Bear Grylls”, what three things would you bring?

FP: A machete, something to start a fire with – I can’t do it without a tool, and… can I bring my cell phone?  If I bring my phone, I can call for help and not have to be in the woods anymore.

ML: Yeah, yeah, yeah – bring your phone.  What do you mean, you “can’t”?  I’ve never heard you say that before.  You’re the most capable person I know!     

FP: Well, it’s not that I can’t do it.  I just haven’t tried yet.

ML: That makes more sense.  So Mr. Capable, what’s your biggest challenge on set?

FP: I don’t look at them as challenges – just things that need to be done.

ML: Good answer.  So give me an example of a time when you had to save the day, at least.

FP: Once we only had two products to shoot with and the prototypes weren’t working properly on set.  I took both of them apart to make one functioning prototype that lasted the entire shoot.

ML: Nice save!  So although you are now our prop master and you’re starting to produce, what do you think you want to be “when you grow up”?

FP: I like directing.

ML: If directing doesn’t work out and you could theoretically be a super hero instead, what super power would you possess?

FP: Flying.  Well, wait.  Do you fly at the same speed you walk?  If that’s the case, no.  Do you get tired after flying?  If that’s the case, no.  I’ll just read people’s minds.

ML (smiles): As a mere mortal, is there anything spectacular on your bucket list?

FP: Jump out of an airplane by myself with a wingsuit.

ML: No guts, no glory, right?  Having said that, what’s your biggest regret?

FP: I don’t have any.  Everything has a path and everything happens because it was supposed to.

ML: If you were supposed to win a million dollars, what would you do with it?

FP: Invest it, so it turns into more money and then figure it out from there.  There’s this quote by Lao Tzu, “If you are depressed, you are living in the past.  If you are anxious, you are living in the future.  If you are at peace, you are living in the present.”

ML: Well, presently you are in the process of buying your first house.  When you are all settled and ready to host a dinner party, who would ideally be on your guest list – alive or dead, real or fake?

FP: I would invite you, Mary Ann (Oh, Frankie!), John Paul Jones – the American Revolution captain, not the guy from Led Zeppelin, although I like him, too.  My grandpa on my mom’s side and my grandma on my dad’s side who both died before I was born.  The cast of Fantastic Four, Summer from The O.C. and Don Draper from Mad Men, although he hates dinner parties.

ML: Can’t wait for the invite.  Anything else we should know?

FP: Yeah, don’t underestimate me.

ML: Word.

FP: Word.


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